I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't make it painfully aware to the public that we sell gift cards. That said, I'm going to take this simple reminder and make it into a really unnecessary old-timey pitch. Because that's hilarious to me.

Are you sick of having to deal with our emaciated economy?

Want to avoid unnecessary injury at large chain retailers?

Well crap, dude! Grab one of these!

Even if you failed your loved ones and haven't scooped one of these up yet in time for the holidays, you can still let them know you're thinking about them on New Year's Day or MLK Day. We sell these puppies year-round! Gift cards are credited toward the purchase of a tattoo or piercing, you decide! I'll see you around the bend, and have a safe holiday!

Due to the holidays poking their goddamn noses into our business and consistent requests, Jenn is going to be staying with us through the Christmas holiday. Good news for you guys, bad news for the future cyborgs hunting her at every corner.

In other news, can you believe it finally snowed out? To celebrate I went outside to make a snow angel. In a turn of events that can only be described as hilarious, a car ran over my leg before I could finish the crucial foundation angel. I have no one to blame but myself when I decide to celebrate innocuous events in the middle of the street.

Since I'm now telecommuting my Shop Bitch duties from my mom's house, I have more time on my hands. Unfortunately this pretty much amounts to ordering food online, since that wretched woman took away my phone priveleges. What does this mean for you, the ever-dutiful reader? Not a whole hell of a lot beyond outing myself as a lazy slouch with a poorly-maintained bloatee. But I think, I think I just may try to overhaul this ol' whale of a website in the near future. For instance: I finally removed our beloved Jesse from the artist bio page. In my defense, he was the only one who understood me.

More to come, but for now I'm Joey Maclure and I will see you around the bend!

Further details into the saga of Jenn moving are as follows, so pay your asses attention!

The Mousetrap, ever our enjoyable cohorts in downtown fun, are throwing a going-away party for her on Friday, the 10th of this month! In addition to a quarter-barrel, The Jaggernauts will be making an appearance for the event as well! As per usual with Mousetrap shows, there is no cover, just as long as you're not some shitty little 19-year-old trying to get in so you can play foosball in the back or attempt to score the free beer. You little turds make binge-drinking look bad for all of us.

Chances are The Jaggernauts go on around 10, in keeping with the standard layout of a given Mousetrap Friday. More details as they come! Annnnd I'll see you around the bend!

It's been quite the four months! Not that you'd know it from visiting here. I'm a dick.

Jenn's leaving us for fair Portland in October! Our Jenn. Ten years tattooing in Eau Claire is enough! We don't have a solid date yet, but she's nosing towards the middle of the month. That means that all of you Jenn-fanatics who want work done from her are going to wanna get in on this last couple of months here! We'll keep you posted on an exact day, and until then she'll be working her buns off right through to the finish line.

See you around the bend!

Well now, that just has to be a personal best for me. Almost five months without an update! And don't think there wasn't stuff going on (Josi and Jesse each had kids! Where the hell was I on that one?!), I was just really busy with my Battlestar Galactica Wiki editing duties. I finally had some free time to catch up, what with the writer's strike and all. But for every month of updates I missed, I was summarily beaten about the face and arms with a dogleg tire iron.

Ha ha ha! I'm just kidding, nobody physically beat me, the dogleg is a metaphor for my embarassment. Mainly in the form of car antenna nuts-whipping.

Anyway, now that we got the cringeworthy niceties out of the way, I must now tearfully make the following announcement: Jesse's leaving us!

That's right! Everyone's favorite short, bearded guy is leaving Skin Prints to further pursue his tattooing career in the frozen, godless wastes of Duluth at Dominic's Downtown. We at Skin Prints send our love and support, and hope he makes the proverbial killing doing what he loves. He's leaving in two weeks, so be sure to get that custom demon-eyeball-ham-skateboard tattoo before he's gone forever! UPDATE: We're having sort of a going-away party for him at the Drunk Drivers show at the House of Rock, tomorrow. Feel free to show up and watch us all yell at each other about the good ol' days.

And while Jesse is on the quits, we'd like to introduce Christopher, the shop's new piercing apprentice and overall phone guy. He once paid me a dollar to punch myself in the nuts. Judging from this post, you'd expect that I'd receive a lot of abuse to my nuts, right? However, it's been nearly half a year since I've written anything on here, and a lot of other things can happen in that time.

...Okay, mainly nuts-whipping. I probably couldn't father children even if I had the opportunity to try.

In other news, I'll be adding pictures to everyone's portfolios, as well as tweaking the site so that most of the irrelevant crap I originally implemented no longer makes me want to punch a dog. It'll look good, I promise. So stay tuned, and I'll see you around the bend!

For those of you who live and breathe by this page, like me, you may be wondering how our Halloween show went. It was awesome! Click yonder for pictures. A big thanks once again for all the bands and patrons who made the night such a success.

We're also happy to announce the return of Horror Night at the Mousetrap! There was a dry spell there for a bit, mainly due to Halloween getting the Captain's Chair of our attention. But now we're back on track and we've got a classic for you, with Children of the Corn.

The movie, as always, will be shown on the last Wednesday of the month, which for this November falls on the 28th. We're crankin' it up at 10:00pm, and as per usual it's going to be full of your favorite things: beer, creepy ambience, and us loud-mouthed yokels. For updates regarding the show, be sure to check our Myspace page, and until then, I'll see you around the bend!

Let's hear it for Rocktober! I'm aware that that's sort of a d-bag phrase, that... that was my intent.

Halloween's a-comin', too. I'm so excited that I might have made an Embarassment just now. Halloween's a special time for us at Skin Prints, and we're looking forward to the ensuing festivities. In fact, we're hosting a little something at the Stones Throw on Halloween (a Wednesday) and you're invited. Dark and Sexy Halloween is going to feature such acts as Harsh Reality, Apocalypse Theater and others for a night of gothy metal fun. The time is 10:00pm and the cover is five (5) bucks, which I'm to understand is American currency. I'd imagine bartering with tobacco isn't gonna cut it. Hope to see you there! It's gonna be wild.

We're all assembling our respective tattoo bits for your viewing pleasure very soon, which I'm sure will hit hard, like a hurricane. So stay tuned for that. Also, have you noticed our new piercing prices? They've been knocked down a little bit to accomodate you fresh young faces out there who have been living off of Ramen noodles and Baloney On Hand sandwiches.

Stay tuned, and I'll see you around the bend!

This is a student update! Yeeeaaaayyy! Aren't you kids excited? You'd frigging better be, because I sure as hell am!

School started again, and I think we all know where this post is going. For one, you incumbent students are back for more action(if you haven't learned what "incumbent" means you should probably go back a year). Which means that you're a little older, if not more wiser than perhaps you've at least been incarcerated at some point, and you're raring to get things going again.

You new students, however, have all sorts of fun stuff to look forward to here in Eau Claire. For one, right now your parents are laughing their asses off, partying like crazy and probably having sex for the first time in years now that you're not at home, eating all their damn groceries. And secondly, you've never met me. I'm Joey! The tattoo shop's well-dressed receptionist and website administrator! I keep you (more or less) up to date on what's going on here at the shop.

Obligatory Context-Sensitive Statement: Since you're straight off the boat and about as world-savvy as a character from a Robin Williams movie (in a good way), you probably want to get a bunch of tattoos and piercings. It is our duty, nay-- our mission, to point out that there are something like eight shops in this town. Not every place you waltz into is going to be an episode of L.A. Ink or The Hills, or whatever you kids watch these days. It's important to keep an eye out for certain things when you go into a tattoo shop:

1. Check the shop's medical records. This is the potential deal-breaker, no matter how cheap someone's willing to give you a tattoo. Your parents aren't going to give a rat's ass that you only spent thirty dollars on a tattoo when it turns out you have a staph infection.
2. Look at the portfolios of every artist. Portfolios typically represent the best work each artist has done. They are intended to reflect not only the artist's capabilities, but their personal style as well. If you don't really know what makes up a decent tattoo, try checking out some of the more reputable tattoo magazines that most shops have lying around. This stuff is permanent, and you have every right to be picky.
3. Is the place clean? A tattoo shop is a quasi-medical establishment, and while we're not required to wear stupid looking scrubs or anything, both the shop and your artist should at least look like they weren't smeared in garbage the night before.

There's some other stuff I should probably mention but my fingers hurt and I long since blew my narrative wad on that whole "Robin Williams character" bit. Have fun in school and we look forward to your business here at Skin Prints. I'll see you around the bend!

We'd like to thank everyone who showed up Saturday for the Caravan, as well as the bands and suspension team for throwing on a badass show. Jed called the evening "delicious", then proceeded to drink himself into a coma. Jenn got to rock with Apox. I got three feet in the door when someone punched me for wearing a unicorn t-shirt. All in all, everyone got their faces rocked off, especially the people who were a bit vague as to what "suspension" was. That one guy was looking a little green for a bit.

We've got a ton of pictures for the event, and I'm even going to set up a more intuitive image gallery (which will be retrofitted to all the other galleries in due course) to show them on. But in my desire to be lazy and not make a thousand little thumbnails and whatnots, I've actually been stuck all day working on the damn thing. Being lazy is really hard work. But until I get all of that up and running, here are a couple of fun highlights from the show.

Well how about that! More to come as soon as I beat the hell out of the Internet until it does what I want it do. I'll see you around the bend!

Tonight! Tonight! Tonight is the Deth Star Caravan at the House of Rock! Nine o'clock! Six bucks! Goth/industrial music! Suspension team! Alcohol! Be there or I'll do something terrible! See you around the bend!

P.S. Don't think we forgot about Movie Night at the Mousetrap next Wednesday, either. Phantasm is playing around 10pm. As per usual, there's gonna be alcohol and the drunken commentary that runs concurrent. It's gonna be a real ball-breaker! I don't really know what that means! Be there, or, as I mentioned earlier, terrible things may happen.

Wow! Some weather, eh? It's so hot out, and HEY EVERYBODY! Do you enjoy watching suspensions? Do you also enjoy goth and industrial music playing very loudly nearby? Well, I guess we should be best friends, then! Check it:

We want to see a huge turnout, but we need your help. Tell everyone the what, when, where, and how-much! You don't need a why, because I think it goes without saying: you can't NOT check something like this out. Be sure to check our Myspace page for future updates, and while you're at it, check out the pages for Apocalypse Theatre and 313's suspension team. I'll see you around the bend!

Here's a fun fact: you don't need any training whatsoever to get a tattoo license in Wisconsin.

To hear Jenn's take on that and other fun stuff that's messed up with the Health Department, point your clickuns this-a-way. There was also talk of online video somewhere, but I don't see where that is so I'll just assume you should've been near a TV set today at 5pm and again at ten.

Also! Don't forget, tomorrow night we're showing Army of Darkness at the Mousetrap at 10pm. It promises to be a night of kickassery.

Having gotten the important things out of the way, am I the only one who's sweating his Charlie Browns off out there? Gimme some frigging rain, please. See you around the bend!

There's a bevvy of things to broach today! First and foremost, this month's installment of Horror Night is coming up in a week. We'll be showing The Shining, and I must reiterate that it's the classic Kubrick version starring Jack Nicholson and the scariest part of the movie in my opinion, Shelley Duvall's eye sockets. Screw hallways coursing blood and chase scenes through spooky mazes, seeing her face makes me wish I was never born. As with last time, we'll have a raffle for two general piercings, a fun-tastic overall value of $60. As for themed drink specials, well, you'll just have to be creative and make your own damn drink up. I can't do everything around here.

I've also been passed along the latest Skin Prints Public Service Announcement, so cock your earholes this-a-way. Except, with sight instead.

Skin Prints has been boasting for years that we have the most qualified body piercers in the Chippewa Valley. And in an effort to bring the highest-quality piercings to our clients, we have decided to make some changes.

All piercings will now be done with internally-threaded jewelry. With internally-threaded jewelry, the threading is on the end-ball of the piece, which fits into a hollow post. Externally-threaded jewelry had its threading passing through new piercings first, which may cause damage to surrounding tissue.

We want the very best for our clients, and therefore are making this important switch to internal threading.

Unfortunately, this means an increase in price to cover the cost of the new jewelry. We are, however, confident that to our clients who understand quality, this shouldn't pose a problem.

We will continue to re-sell all of our current externally-threaded jewelry in the jewelry case along with a new supply of internally-threaded jewelry. For more information on internally-threaded jewelry, please visit APP's website. And as always, Skin Prints would love to answer any questions you may have. Thank you for your continued patronage!

Now that's what I'm talkin' about. Yet another bit of big news we've been sitting on for a while: Skin Prints would like to announce the future opening of Caffeine Transfusion. This coffee shop is a welcome addition to our new tattoo shop location, which will be opening October 1st, 2007 at 314 N. Barstow Street.

That's right, you can get all hopped up on coffee before and/or after getting tattooed at our new location. I myself am looking to supplement my modest income as Skin Prints' shop bitch, by washing dishes at the coffee shop. We haven't officially discussed it, but I think I'd be a good dishwasher/janitor: they always tell me I've got "a face fit for a kitchen". I don't know what that means, probably because I'm a hard worker. Having said that, I'm going to go pad my resumé. I'll see you around the bend!

Well, it wouldn't be a Skin Prints evening unless there was a slew of goofball circumstances associated with it. Last night's Horror Night at the Mousetrap was successful, but not without a price... a cost!

There was a power outage around 8-8:30 downtown, which I'm guessing had to do with how kickass the weather was yesterday. The movie also almost didn't get showed as a result. The Mousetrap bartenders then had to use tea candles, because, I guess it's hard to get your drink on when you don't know what the hell you're drinking. Well after the power had come back on, however, the candles remained and this created an unintentionally rad atmosphere for the movie.

Turnout was intimate at best, and as a result the commentary during the film was almost better than the film itself. Halfway through Psycho, there was a ten minute sheer blob of water descended upon the streets outside. Christ, was it hailing? I dunno. It made the movie ten times better. I've never seen Psycho - my mom never let me watch those kinds of movies. Oddly enough I was able to draw glaring comparisons between the timid Norman Bates and myself, the inimitable Joey Maclure.

Anyway, yeah, good stuff. We're planning on making this a monthly thing, so be sure to head down to the Mousetrap the last Wednesday of every month. Next month we're busting out The Shining, and not that bullcrap remake with the dude from Wings and that little irritating kid who looked like a chipmunk. God! You know what I mean? Oh, you so do. It was like 12 years ago or something like that. The damn kid, he just made me want to punch a WALL

Now that I've effectively made myself to look like a dick, let's check out some pictures. I'll get on JT's nuts a little later today and post some of his pictures. Having said that, you go out there and enjoy the half-assed pseudo-nice weather, and I'll see you around the bend!

Way to go, downtown business unity. Skin Prints is currently hosting a monthly Horror Night at the Mousetrap, located adjacent to our own shop on South Barstow. We're kicking it off on the 21st of this month, and along with a showing of Psycho, will be doing raffles and stuff like that. It's sure to be a fantastic adventure, though I lost my school ID and won't be able to legally enter myself. See you around the bend!

March is definitely starting off with a bang, that "bang" being the crapload of snow coming down outside. There doesn't appear to be too much accumulation but it's definitely screwed with driving conditions enough for us at the shop that we're actually closing down early so people won't drive here. JT's client had to reschedule and apologized for calling late, because he had just got done talking to the cops regarding the car that T-boned his truckbed at an intersection.

Folks, I love getting my navel pierced the moment I conceive of the idea as much as the next guy. Or girl. But if it means potentially flying off the road and, at best just having a higher insurance bill, sleep on the idea. Because it's kind of hard to show off that fancy new ankle rose when you're in traction.

So think smart! We will ostensibly be open tomorrow (Saturday), but please give us a call to see what the plan is. You can get ahold of us at (715) 831-8780. So drive safe (or just don't drive!), and I'll see you around the nice, safe, straight road.

Well, I'm a dick. Almost a month with no updates, you say! I didn't notice, certainly not the constant badgering from my co-workers when they have tattoos they want uploaded to the interweb. Jenn and Jed have got some juicy bits rolling in their portfolios, as well as a couple of new tattoos in the Coverup gallery that we had to make not-dogcrap. I'd link all of those again but all you really need to do is scroll down like two posts and it's all already linked. I'm so laaazzzyyy

I hope you all had a pleasant Valentine's Day. Before you new-age geniuses get on your soap boxes and start pissing and moaning about how it's a commercial holiday, I just have one thing to ask you:

Of course it's something those fatcats at Hallmark made up. But that's no reason not to pretend you're Barry Manilow and sleaze it up for a night with a significant other. What? You're single? Enjoy your whiskey shots, I guess. Me, I spent the evening with my mom. We found a can of alfredo sauce in the very back of the pantry and decided to make some fettucine. When it was my third turn on the toilet, I came to wonder just what it is about the holidays that's just so magical. I never did figure it out, but I do have doctor's orders to use this weird pillow when I'm in the can.

Yeah, that's about it. Workin' for the weekend, that's me. I'll see you around the bend!

The Green Bay International Tattoo Convention came and went, and it was reportedly some kind of awesome. I personally did not attend, because my dog Sanford gets fussy when I'm not home and he just urinates all over everything. And I can't count on my mom to go into my room and check, because she has sort of an ongoing problem with barbituates.

There are a few pictures from the event, including JT getting tattooed, Jenn hanging out with Lyle Tuttle, and our shop's eye-candy, Noah, doing a little bit of a deal-closing pose with a gentleman from Havok Jewelry. Let's give Noah a big hand! Since I've basically exhausted any and all material I had for this post, I'll probably just go ahead and post those thumbnails now.

Some of us are also going to the Shades of Blue convention this weekend, so once again, if you were hoping to waltz in and start bossing me around this Saturday, then... well, you can't. On that note, if any of our faithful readers have any work from us and want to show it off at the convention, maybe get entered, the con takes place at the La Crosse Center in La Crosse. Judging starts at noon though, so you might wanna get some sleep Friday night. We hope to see you there! I'll see you around the bend!

Howdy! I hope everyone enjoyed their nationally-recognized holiday of choice, in the month since I've last touched this thing. Things have gotten progressively more hairy around here and everyone's busy. Even me! Now that Jesse's tattooing, he's gotten into the habit (like everyone else) of playing fun little jokes on poor ol' Joey. Much of my time lately has been spent cleaning all of the mysteriously curly hairs out of my shoes.

Whatever the German word for "sassy" is, that's Jenn's middle name because she's got some kickassery to share with you in her gallery.

Oh, hey! Apparently a new shipment of crack came into Eau Claire, because someone's been telling people that we're shutting down. Skin Prints? We're shutting down? This is news to me... oh, and everyone else who works here. Why the hell would the longest-running, most well-established and reputable tattoo & body piercing shop in the Chippewa Valley be closing down? You're... you're crazy. Crazy people.

To be fair, we have been looking at some property a skip and a jump north of here. But I guess I just haven't been taking my perscription Unrelated Nonsense Is Now Gab-Worthy Gospel medicine, because that doesn't seem like it should be the least bit related. Once again... Eau Claire's crack dealers must be living like fat cats right now. You know, all monocle in the eye, top hats and parties where they pass a tray of hundred dollar bills around to light their cigars with. Except instead of cigars, they're crack spoons! Also, why do I keep referencing crack? This really is a Nancy Drew debacle here.

Man, I am full of it today. Maybe it's the new year without any snow (I may have mentioned my affection for snow in the past), or the fact that my psoriasis is driving me frigging insane right now. For no reason I'm going to quickly but awkwardly segue from that little bit of personal information, and move onto the next item of business: We do have long-sleeve shirts and sweatshirts at the shop now. Pick one up! Or I will remove you from my Myspace.

Our friend Patrick Sova was recently involved in a truck accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. Friends and family have been earning their Hero badges by organizing various benefits to put a dent in these bills, but they can't do it alone! And this is usually where I'd post a picture of Uncle Sam that I superimposed my face into, but I'm not really into screwing with Photoshop right now. You get the idea!

Pretty soon here we should have a little page up listing those benefits as they come, but until then you should swivel your internets to this link, which is doing a pretty good job of that itself.

One last thing! Skin Prints will not be open on Saturday, January 20th. We will be attending Rick's 12th International Tattoo Convention in Green Bay. I tried setting up some straw effigies of us so there's at least a skeleton crew around, but one of them ended up having an eating disorder, and none of them can tattoo to save their lives. So we made a bonfire out of them. If you're in the area, give us a shout, or a drink or maybe bye me some pie or something. Feel free to chuck your interwebs towards the ampersand at the end of this sentence for more information: &

I'm going to go drink some cough medicine now. See you around the bend!